Oppressive Seasons and Cancer Buzz Words

My favorite weather forecast is cloudy with a chance of meatballs, but you can’t always get what you want.

What a hot, humid, utterly oppressive summer it’s been. Nothing in our garden is doing well this year. How I long for autumn. How I long for just a refreshing breeze. How I long for this cancer to be gone.

To keep my summer theme going, sort of, I am taking a break from my original buzz words to attack a cancer buzz word, or phrase I hate:

Cancer Journey

I’m not on a cancer journey. If you must use the word journey, call it my Christian journey. I am a pilgrim on this earth. This cancer is an affliction I must suffer, but it must not overwhelm me. Calling it a journey gives it too much power. It is not a separate journey, it’s a season in my pilgrimage. My entire life on this earth is full of trials and tribulation. So please, don’t ask about my cancer journey. Ask about my walk with the Lord. I am a daughter of the King. Let me tell you how He sustains me. I have been through much in my pilgrimage. This is just another season.

I’m not walking with cancer, I walk with the Lord God Almighty. I’m not on the road of life with cancer, I’m on this road with God. He is my God, mine! He’s all powerful, cancer is NOT.

Maybe I’m rambling in this post. Probably. I’m trying to keep calm as my surgery date approaches. My Lord supplies all the consolation I need in His Word. He works through my dear brothers and sisters in Christ who encourage me. What a privilege it is to belong to Jesus!

So back to this oppressive heat. Every night, Mike and I look sadly at our gardening efforts withering away. Of course, I blame him for being so stingy with the organic dirt. There’s not enough room for deep roots. All the plants look stunted. (Hmmmm, there’s another blog post right there.)

My rooftop garden is doing so much better than the one below. Herbs thrive on our rooftop. We’re getting some peppers, too. And red cabbage!

There’s always hope.

This morning in the garden with Jesus, I saw this rose. My hybrid teas have not been doing well, but behold, suddenly, what a beauty! The bee thought so, too. I wanted to sniff this sweet rose but I hate bees, remember?

BUZZZZ.

I ran inside for my camera and pruners, thinking maybe by the time I get back, the bee will be gone.

He was still there. But I boldly grabbed my rose. Snip.

The bee flew away. I cringed at the buzzing sound.

Safely inside, with my AC cranked up, I happily placed this rose in my sunny dining room.

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This evening, I received this Grace Gem, Walking With Jesus, by Mary Winslow, in my inbox. Here are some quotes taken from her writing. I encourage you to use the link to read it in its entirety.

“Dearest Jesus! help Your pilgrims to live more like pilgrims, above a poor dying world, and more in full view of the glory that awaits them when they shall see You face to face!”

This world is not, and never was intended to be, our rest. It is a wilderness we are passing through, and shame, shame to us, that we so often want to sit down amid its weeds and briars, and amuse ourselves with the trifles of a fallen world lying in the wicked one. All here is polluted and tainted by sin; therefore does Christ say, “Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away.”

Jesus is the Fountain, yes, the Ocean, of living waters. We draw supplies from His infinite, inexhaustible fulness. “Lord, impart to me more of Yourself. Fill this heart with Your love, engrave Your image there, and let me not lose sight of You for one small moment.”

Jesus is all in all to me. I feel a blessed nearness to Him, to heaven. My soul holds converse with Him, and sweet I find it to lie as a helpless infant at His feet; yes, passive in His loving hands, knowing no will but His.

What a mercy, thus to unburden the whole heart; the tried and weary, the tempted and sorrowful heart; tried by sin, tried by Satan, tried by those you love! What a mercy to have a loving bosom to flee to, one truly loving heart to confide in, which responds to the faintest breathing of the Spirit! “Precious Jesus, how inexpressibly dear are You to me at this moment! Keep sensibly near to me. Lift up upon me Your heavenly countenance, for it is sweeter, dearer, better than life!

This rose.

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This Jesus:

In all your sorrows, pour out your heart to the Man of sorrows. He will bow down His ear and listen to all you say, and will either remove or moderate your trial, and give you strength to bear it. Even this bitter draught He has given you to drink shall result both in your good and His own glory. Remember, not a sparrow falls upon the ground without His guidance, and that the very hairs of your head are all numbered. How much more has this trying event been ordered and arranged by Him who loves you! Infinite wisdom has appointed the whole! Never doubt that He loves you when He the most deeply afflicts. “When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.” May He lift up upon you the light of His countenance, drawing you nearer to Himself, that you may see what a tender, loving heart He has for you, and how deeply and tenderly and considerately He cares for you, as if there were not another poor sorrowful one to care for on the face of the whole earth!

My Jesus. My hope and trust is in Him.

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